Be Kind to Yourself
Self-kindness can take so many forms, such as rest, asking for help, letting something go, setting up boundaries, doing something for fun, advocating for yourself, apologising, or taking accountability.
Self-kindness is a positive, proactive attitude towards oneself. It is not simply about the absence of negative attitudes. An absence of self-judgment does not necessarily indicate that one is completely compassionate towards oneself. One may not necessarily isolate during times of failure or be able to place one’s failings in the very context of a common human experience.
Being kind must be an everyday understanding. In life, self-kindness is about experiencing one of the best things that can happen to one. Life becomes lighter and the relationships are most likely to improve.
Feeling happier is often observed overall. The self-esteem and the very sense of deserving good things in life does usually tend to go up. It is also this one thing that is certainly neglected moving into something which you may feel guilty about doing. In order to make a positive change, simply start a new habit right away. This calls out to one of kindness and love towards oneself.
We can all think the worst can happen to ourselves when we are under a lot of stress. In order to feel positive when being too hard on oneself, do try this simple practice towards fostering self-kindness. Being kind to one does not always come naturally. The phrase being one’s own worst critic rings true for a reason.
How to Be Kind to Yourself
1. Talk kindly to oneself
Think about how one can speak to the people they love and care about, and then turn that voice on themselves. Be completely conscious about the inner voice; be it a friend or one someone who happens to be kind, rather than one who is harsh or belittles a person. This can help one to pick themselves up if things go wrong and help a person cope better.
2. Do Practice gratitude always
We do find that people who do practice gratitude and happen to notice the things that they are thankful for are much happier and do have a greater acknowledgement of wellbeing. A person might want to try and think of a few things in the morning or before one goes to bed at night or write them down as well. Make it a point to actively work on the positives of the day. Reframing the situations and looking for the positives can certainly help strengthen the resilience.
3. Perform acts of kindness and generous towards others
Be kind towards others. Small gestures do have a superb impact whether it means smiling at someone or by way of letting someone go in front in a queue. Doing good for others does boost one’s own wellbeing and at the same time helps brighten someone else’s day.
4. Do reflect daily
Make time every day to give some space to reflect on what is going on and how they are feeling. A few minutes for one to sit and think or write in a journal does help one process the thoughts, feelings and emotions in order to cope up better.
5. Self-care needs to be undertaken
Keeping up with healthy routines and rituals are an important way to look after oneself. These do indicate things like having breakfast, carving out some time for oneself in the day, planning what one can eat and exercising and doing some things to enjoy no matter how small they are.
6. Be responsible for oneself
If a stressful or a busy day tempts one to treat oneself with alcohol or junk food or cigarette etc. Think about whether this is a healthy move to make. A treat now and then is okay, however, recognise not to use it as a crutch. This can sabotage all the efforts that have been made to look after oneself. Self-compassion comes with self-respect not with self-sabotage.
7. Invest in valuable interests
Do things that really align with your interests and passions. If one has the creative streak, make time for a creative outlet even if it is being outdoors or doing a sport then do make time for these too. These are the things that can often get pushed off the priority list, but it is important that one does not compromise them.
8. Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is a way of thinking plus focusing on the here and now completely. It encourages one to pay attention to the present moment. This can help reduce thinking too far ahead and worrying about things that have not happened yet. More so thinking about the past and dwelling on things that cannot change. One can mindfully do almost anything; be it as regular as eating a meal, brushing your teeth, or choosing to go for a walk.
9. Having to spend time in or around nature
Being around elements of the natural world can be calming and also can improve the sense of wellbeing. Consider how time can be made for elements of the outdoors and natural world. This could be greenery such as the garden or a walk in the park. It could also be water by way of having a stroll by a canal, lake, or river, or better still a beach or other parts of the coast if these are nearby.
10. Thinking about the possible opportunities
We are currently facing a global pandemic, which is understandably a cause of worry and stress. It may help to counter these feelings if one can consider this to be a unique time of opportunity as well. We can reframe the perception of this time as a chance to pause, reflect and finally reset. Think about the things that one did not enjoy before, and what one may want to keep or change going forward.
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References/Further Reading
https://www.annafreud.org/on-my-mind/self-care/be-kind-to-yourself/
https://www.lifehack.org/882952/be-kind-to-yourself
https://zenhabits.net/kind-done/
https://www.helpguide.org/meditations/being-kind-to-yourself-meditation.htm
https://news.utexas.edu/2020/04/15/tips-on-being-kinder-to-yourself-during-trying-times/
https://headspace.org.au/headspace-centres/capalaba/how-to-be-kind-to-yourself/
About Trishna
Trishna Patnaik, a BSc (in Life Sciences) and MBA (in Marketing) by qualification but an artist by choice. A self-taught artist based in Mumbai, Trishna has been practising art for over 14 years. After she had a professional stint in various reputed corporates, she realised that she wanted to do something more meaningful. She found her true calling in her passion that is painting. Trishna is now a full-time professional painter pursuing her passion to create and explore to the fullest. She says, "It’s a road less travelled but a journey that I look forward to everyday."
Trishna also conducts painting workshops across Mumbai and other metropolitan cities of India. Trishna is an art therapist and healer. She works with clients on a one on one basis in Mumbai
Trishna fancies the art of creative writing and is dappling her hands in that too, to soak in the experience and have an engagement with readers, wanderers and thinkers.
